I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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