So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
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