Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
