now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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