I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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