Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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