haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize