my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
How does one acquire holy water?
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
