How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
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