"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I'm like, not good at living.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
