how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
