look no pants
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I know her cup size but not her name....
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