Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
