dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
