Cold hands, warm shart.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
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