i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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