tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
