He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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