Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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