i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
