Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
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