I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
