you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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