Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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