I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
