yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
