dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
So here I am, sexting at work.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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