I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
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