You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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