I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
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