Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
