he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I skipped work to stalk him.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
