Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
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