I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
