just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
