I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
