I just saw a hot homeless man
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
