I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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