I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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