its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize