just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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