gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
