Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
