I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
