Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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