it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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