I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize