Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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