Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
