I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
