Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
