I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
