It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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