He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Randomize
