I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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