we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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