mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
