what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
