he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Randomize
