It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
