I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Sorry about my life...
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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