Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
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