nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
PANTIES FOUND
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