WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
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