At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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