I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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