What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
