My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
